An Ode to Divorce - Chapter 47
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#47
I mumbled excuses while avoiding his gaze that seemed to demand an answer.
“Still, you might get angry at me for something I ask you to do.”
“I won’t get angry.”
“You have gotten angry before.”
“That was…”
Gert was about to say there was no such thing, but then slightly furrowed his brow. Soon, as if recalling past events, Gert’s face crumpled completely.
“That was because you did something worth getting angry about. I begged you over and over to take shelter below deck while we fought the sea monster, but you stubbornly came up on deck anyway. Do you know how my heart dropped at that moment?”
“Well, I wanted to see the sea monster wrapping our ship with its tentacles firsthand to get inspiration… Anyway, getting angry is still getting angry!”
“Hah…”
Gert covered his face with both hands. Only then did I realize I had made another mistake.
“…A-anyway, it was scary!”
I knew I was in the wrong too. But Gert had been so terrifying back then that even Dietrich and the other expedition members had to restrain him.
Gert blinked repeatedly at my words, as if realizing for the first time in his life that he could be scary.
“Scary? What was?”
“You getting angry?”
“Why?”
Gert’s blue eyes wavered as if shocked. The fact that he was shocked was shocking to me as well. I explained reluctantly.
“What do you mean why? Usually when you get angry, people are scared. They’re scared even when you’re not angry. Compared to that, I’m quite brave for only being scared when you actually get angry.”
“That’s other humans. You don’t need to be afraid.”
Gert replied with obvious bewilderment in his voice. His words carried a strange kind of faith.
So, all this time Gert had been getting angry thinking that no matter how angry he got, I wouldn’t be scared?
How on earth did he develop such baseless confidence in me?
“You remember how I couldn’t even break a twig as thick as my finger and couldn’t properly prepare kindling for a fire, right? But you can snap logs as thick as my waist in an instant. And yet you think I wouldn’t be scared when you get angry?”
“I’ve never once laid a hand on you when angry, so why would you think that way?”
Gert’s voice rose higher, as if he found it absurd.
“…I’ve never really thought you’d use force on me either. It’s just… just scary.”
After all, when you see someone strangle a house-sized wolf to death with their bare hands right before your eyes, you naturally become humble no matter how kind they are to you.
Rather, I found it strange that Gert was so indignant about it. That’s because everyone around Gert was afraid of him.
But believing that only I wouldn’t be was a bit…
“On the flip side, why did you think I wouldn’t be afraid of you?”
“Because you’re strong.”
“You know I couldn’t even break a twig as thick as my finger…”
“Not that kind of strength!”
I was about to kindly repeat what I had said earlier since he seemed to have forgotten, but Gert cut me off first.
“You’re an outstanding hero that even I acknowledge, Orphea. Even if you had to fight me, you’re not naive enough to just take it lying down. You knew that too, which is why you just did whatever you really wanted to do regardless of whether I tried to stop you or not, right?”
To think Gert had been holding me in such high regard all this time. I was grateful, but no matter how I thought about it, I wasn’t quite the person he expected me to be, so I felt a bit embarrassed.
“You’re overestimating me too much… Back then, I just saw what I wanted to do right in front of me. It absolutely wasn’t because I wasn’t scared of you getting angry. Got it?”
“But normally, when you see something you want to do right in front of you and don’t care whether the other person gets angry or not, that’s called not being afraid. That’s why I thought we had argued rather than me just getting angry.”
To think he interpreted my silence—staying quiet because I was reading the mood—as me being displeased with his words and sulking! It was utterly unfair.
‘No wonder all my acting pitiful and pretending to reflect didn’t work at all…’
The quieter I became, the longer Gert’s speeches got. Now one mystery was finally solved.
Gert opened his mouth as if wanting to explain something more to me, but soon let out a deep sigh.
“…Hah. Anyway, I would never lay a hand on you. So you don’t need to read my mood and can just ask for whatever you want comfortably.”
“Earlier you said you wouldn’t get angry, but now you’ve changed your tune.”
“Thinking about your track record so far, it seems impossible to never get angry.”
Gert’s brow furrowed. It seemed I had reminded him of something unnecessary.
Anyway, having this conversation made me feel like I understood Gert a bit better.
Of course, I was still scared when Gert got angry. But since he said all that, it seemed like I could be a bit more spoiled with him.
Not wanting to miss this opportunity, I moistened my dry lips with my tongue and carefully began.
“Then, can I ask you for just one favor?”
“Anything.”
Though Gert answered readily, I still hesitated to speak. It was for the same reason it would be hard to immediately trust a man-eating lion saying “I won’t bite you anymore.”
After hesitating for a long while, I carefully brought it up.
“If you like my songs… would you come listen to them often?”
“…”
“I won’t take up too much of your time. It’s just that when I see you listening to and enjoying my songs, I feel motivated too.”
Even now was like that. Even while talking with Gert, my fingers kept itching and inspiration kept bubbling up. If this state continued, I might be able to quickly complete the heroic poem that had been stagnant.
“Hmm…”
But as soon as I made the suggestion, a subtle expression crossed Gert’s face. Difficulty? Or hesitation?
‘I knew it…! So saying he’d grant anything was all a lie…!’
I had definitely been tactless again, taking his polite words at face value. I hurriedly added:
“If you’re busy, it’s fine! You’ve been spending a lot of time going places with me lately for banquets and such, right? And you have to go hunting soon…”
“No, it’s not that I dislike it.”
As I rambled on, Gert cut me off with obvious panic on his face.
Gert’s lips moved as if pondering. Unlike his usual self who would say yes if yes, no if no without choosing his words, he seemed hesitant.
Gert continued very carefully, as if selecting precious beads one by one to string together.
“…If I could just listen to your songs, I’d be happy. Rather, it’s something I should be asking for… You don’t need to ask.”
Though he said that, I was suspicious of the reaction he’d shown earlier. Unable to easily trust Gert’s words, I pressed again.
“Really? You’re not just saying yes because you already said something and feel obligated?”
“No.”
“Or maybe you did say you liked my songs, but it’s not to the point where you’d want to hear them that often, so you’re troubled…”
“I said no.”
Gert’s face crumpled. He seemed annoyed that I kept asking even after he’d said no twice.
I smiled brightly. I had done my best at this point. Given Gert’s personality, he wouldn’t say something different later, but even if he did, I had plenty of room to back out!
‘Good, I need to seize this opportunity and get Gert to commit to a specific date.’
To do that, I first needed to soothe Gert’s annoyed mood. I perched on the armrest of the chair Gert was sitting in and kneaded his shoulders like giving a massage.
Gert’s body felt unusually hard under my fingertips. With my grip strength, I’d be lucky to just fidget with his skin rather than actually loosening his muscles.
‘…No wonder he didn’t budge when I hit and bit him, being this solid.’
It had definitely started as a massage to appease Gert’s mood, but actually doing the massage made me inexplicably annoyed. My mood soured, I pressed my fingers down with all my strength.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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