A Blank Slate Regression for the Idol That Lost His Original Mindset - Chapter 131

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Regression Guide for Idols Who Lost Their Initial Intentions Episode 131

 

 

 

 

 

After staring at each other for a moment, I was the first to open my mouth with a reluctant expression.

 

“Where’s Ryu Jaehee?”

 

“Jaehee said something suddenly came up.”

 

This bastard, if he was going to send a substitute because something came up, he should have contacted me in advance.

 

As I frowned and picked up my cell phone, Gyeon Hajun beat me to it and spoke first.

 

“It was a bit unexpected that you entrusted the guide recording to Jaehee this time, when you always said it was most convenient to leave it to me.”

 

At his expression that clearly showed he felt left out, I made a groaning sound and gestured toward the sofa.

 

Gyeon Hajun, who had taken off his muffler and coat and left them on one side of the sofa, sat down. I pulled the studio chair in front of the sofa and faced Hajun.

 

As soon as Hajun showed signs of opening his mouth to say something more, I sighed first and spoke.

 

“Listen to this first. When I told you not to feel indebted to me, that included human relationships at New Born too.”

 

I swept up my bangs and continued speaking.

 

“As I said before, leaving New Born was my choice, and cutting off those relationships was also my choice. And… you know too. Breaking off with Kwon Yunseong wasn’t simply because of you, but because of what he did wrong to ‘us’.”

 

In other words, it wasn’t because of you that things ended up that way with him.

 

“It’s just that, while breaking off with Kwon Yunseong, I felt anew that nothing lasts forever, and I wanted to prepare in advance for the end that might come to us too.”

 

This time.

 

I swallowed the words I could never speak aloud.

 

Even if those words planted anxiety in you, I’ve already seen our end once, so what can I do? I can only hope this time will be different from then.

 

“Then why do you think I would be the one to end it first?”

 

At the sharp question, I pressed my lips together once before bluntly replying.

 

“Because I would never be the first to end it.”

 

“Even if there’s no debt between us now, it’s the same for me. Unless you do something terribly wrong to me.”

 

Hajun countered after letting out a heavy sigh. Well, the me from the first round didn’t do something terribly wrong to you, but rather gradually wore you down. Eventually, the debt that grew bigger and bigger crushed you until you cut it off first.

 

Was this what you meant by something terribly wrong?

 

“I’m sorry. I should have spoken more clearly. I’ve cleanly broken off with Kwon Yunseong, and now I have no regrets or lingering feelings about that side.”

 

At my awkward apology, Hajun also cleanly apologized to me.

 

“I’m sorry too. I reacted too sensitively.”

 

It was a ridiculously quick reconciliation considering the cold war that had lasted until now. But both I and Hajun knew. That this apology wasn’t the end of it.

 

That there were still stories left that couldn’t be resolved with just that brief conversation that night.

 

“I’m curious about something. I’ve been thinking about it alone for a long time, but I just can’t find an answer.”

 

Hajun slowly began. His dark brown eyes looked straight at me.

 

“Why did you follow me out of New Born? What am I to you?”

 

It was pure curiosity without resentment or burden. At the weight of that question, I finally felt relieved.

 

When he asked before why I approached him first, the answer I gave out of embarrassment was about his vocal tone.

 

That was the first reason, but I knew I shouldn’t give that answer even now.

 

“Because you gave me the confidence that I could walk this path.”

 

At his face that seemed not to remember, I swept up my bangs and spoke of the past that I still remembered clearly.

 

“You said it. Who was it… I can’t even remember the name. When I was scolded by the dance trainer teacher at New Born and wondering if being an idol was the right path for me, you told me to make it a choice without regrets.”

 

Whether as an underground rapper or idol trainee, the future was uncertain, and my pride was hurt to go back to underground. In that state, your words were like a signpost to me.

 

The other guys, when I brought up those words, would either whine about whether I was abandoning them, or give insincere, typical responses for that age group saying it would be better to quit and go back to being an underground rapper if it really didn’t suit me.

 

Among those guys who couldn’t read my anxiety and regret and only threw thoughtless answers, you were the only one who read my inner thoughts and helped me escape from that swamp.

 

Hajun blinked slowly and muttered.

 

“…I thought you were closer to Kwon Yunseong than to me.”

 

At the time, I didn’t bother weighing friendships, so even I didn’t know. But thinking about it now…

 

“If Kwon Yunseong had been kicked out, I would have agonized and weighed the future a bit before following him out of New Born.”

 

Anyway, the me back then valued loyalty more than the future, so even if it had been Kwon Yunseong who was pushed out by the parachute, I would have left New Born.

 

However, in that case, it would have been with deliberation,

 

“3 years ago? 4 years ago? Ah shit, I’m getting confused… Anyway, back then I left without hesitation. That’s just the difference.”

 

The difference was that when I followed Hajun out, I left without hesitation.

 

That was sufficient as an answer.

 

Hajun, who silently received the sheet music with lyrics from me, skimmed through the lyrics and burst into laughter.

 

“Isn’t this too much of a friendship anthem?”

 

“Ah shit, is it that bad? Ryu Jaehee said something similar…”

 

I grumbled while scratching the back of my head for no reason.

 

“Give it here. I’ll rewrite the lyrics.”

 

“You should at least try singing it once. It’s a friendship anthem written by none other than Yoon Eden.”

 

“This is driving me crazy. I didn’t write it thinking of you specifically, you know? Don’t get the wrong idea, Jun.”

 

“Ah, really? Did you have another friend running toward the same place besides me?”

 

Are you misunderstanding about Kwon Yunseong again? When I turned around with worry, his face had a mischievous smile he couldn’t hide, so I felt relieved and casually put my arm around Hajun’s shoulder.

 

“Why, there are some. Our members.”

 

“My goodness, the day has come when you include Yehyeon Hyung and Doby in your friend category.”

 

“Is that really something to be so moved about…?”

 

I led Hajun to the front of the recording booth and lightly patted his shoulder.

 

“Well then, I’m counting on you today too.”

 

While listening to Hajun’s guide recording and nodding along, I pressed my forehead and sent a stop signal as Hajun’s voice gradually became more filled with laughter.

 

“I guess I’ll have to rewrite the lyrics after all. It’s too… too emotional, even for me to listen to…”

 

This is why dawn emotions are scary. It was lyrics I had written in my notepad at dawn when I couldn’t sleep and admired as I wrote them, but hearing them with my ears made me really want to tear them up.

 

Anyway, for that reason, we stopped the guide recording and entered the dormitory together, where Ryu Jaehee, who had been lying on the sofa, suddenly sat up.

 

“Whoa, did you two finally make up? Wow, we’re saved, really.”

 

“Hey, if you’re going to send a substitute because something suddenly came up, you should contact in advance and ask for understanding.”

 

When I lightly put him in a headlock, Jaehee struggled and then widened his eyes and protested.

 

“Huh? What are you talking about? It’s true that something suddenly came up for me, but I was going to record and then go. But Hajun Hyung said he’d go instead, so I said okay?”

 

What? Hajun definitely said he came as a substitute because something came up for Jaehee? Hajun had already slipped into his room long ago.

 

‘Wait, come to think of it, did Hajun actually say that Jaehee sent him as a substitute?’

 

The puzzle pieces were gradually fitting together.

 

“Why didn’t you contact me?”

 

“Because Hajun Hyung told me not to.”

 

Only then did I understand the situation and burst into laughter.

 

“I never imagined he actually came because he felt left out.”

 

As I grinned and glanced toward Hajun’s room, Jaehee offered advice.

 

“You know that if you tease him about that, it’ll start a second cold war, right?”

 

“Hey, am I a kid? Would I tease someone over something like that?”

 

I grumbled and clicked my tongue. It’s a bit disappointing that I can’t tease him though.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The great national holiday, New Year’s Day, was approaching.

 

It was the second New Year’s since our debut. And we received five days of vacation for the holiday break.

 

Seo Yehyeon, whose family home was in the provincial areas, decided to stay at the dormitory, and Ryu Jaehee also chose to stay without going home.

 

Hajun decided to only visit his family home on New Year’s Day itself, and Kim Dobin went straight to his family home as soon as he got vacation. He had to visit both his maternal and paternal family homes, or something like that.

 

“But you’re not going home even though you got vacation?”

 

I poked Jaehee, who chose to stay again this time following the last vacation, and asked. This guy whose home was also in Seoul hardly ever went home.

 

“It’s obvious we’ll be performing ancestral rites, what’s the point. I’m sick of ritual food, so I’m not going.”

 

“The last vacation wasn’t even a holiday vacation though?”

 

At my retort, Jaehee replied with a strange expression.

 

“Some people don’t have homes that are comfortable spaces, Hyung.”

 

Right. Just like grandparents don’t remain only as good memories for everyone. I nodded in understanding.

 

“But why are you staying, Hyung?”

 

“If I go home now, I’ll get dragged to the paternal family home. You saw how much of a traditionalist our grandfather is. He’s the type who thinks we absolutely must gather for holidays, and as the eldest grandson of the family, I absolutely must receive New Year’s bows.”

 

 

 

[Profanity detected.]

 

[Initial Intentions –2]

 

 

 

Damn, was “traditionalist” considered profanity too? Can’t it just catch actual swear words?

 

Once again today, I endured the initial intentions pain while filing an upgrade request with the system.

 

“Besides, he’s making a huge fuss right now demanding they bring me over no matter what, so why would I be crazy enough to go?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Back then there were guests watching, and I escaped to the buffet first so he couldn’t catch me, so this New Year’s he’s planning to call me over under the pretense of New Year’s bows and properly catch me.”

 

I could clearly picture grandfather yelling at the top of his lungs about bringing shame to the family.

 

But wasn’t the person who filmed and uploaded it contributing more to the family shame? There shouldn’t be any lies in my diss rap, right?

 

Last year I safely got through it because our activity period overlapped with the New Year’s holiday, but this time it’s hard to use that excuse.

 

So I just need to hold out until the day before New Year’s and New Year’s Day itself, then slip away when I say I’m going to the maternal grandparents’ house the day after.

 

I don’t understand why he’s so obsessed with New Year’s bows. I included that content in my diss rap too, but it seems grandfather didn’t feel anything after hearing it.

 

After the four of us spent the first day of the New Year’s holiday like that, the next day.

 

While the three of us remaining at the dormitory were eating rice cake soup that Gyeon Hajun had prepared, my cell phone rang. The caller was Mom.

 

After debating whether to answer or not, I figured I should at least give my parents New Year’s greetings, so I answered the phone.

 

Judging by how noisy it was around her, she was probably at the paternal family home in Seongbuk-dong.

 

-Eden, grandfather says he won’t scold you about the 80th birthday party, so just come give New Year’s bows and leave.

 

“Wow, what a legendary waste of time.”

 

When I clicked my tongue and let out an exclamation, Mom sighed.

 

-Your father is making a fuss next to me saying he’s going to the dormitory to get you right now. Come quickly before dad chases after you.

 

“I’ll somehow make it in time to give New Year’s bows, so don’t worry and tell dad not to bother coming to the dormitory. Anyway, if we don’t open the door, that’s that…”

 

-Yoon Eden!

 

I flinched at father’s roar coming from nearby and immediately hung up the phone.

 

“Guys, let’s get ready.”

 

When I put down my utensils with a clack and gestured, Ryu Jaehee, who had quietly put down his utensils following me, asked.

 

“Ready for what?”

 

I grinned and replied while roughly fixing my messy bedhead hair.

 

“New Year’s bows.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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